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| Admittedly, I am generally completely oblivious when someone hits on me and will answer all their inquiries like they're legitimate questions. Like when someone asked me, "So..come here often?" at a bar like setting, I replied, "Mm, sometimes. Sometimes I'm over at Hiro, or The Park, and I've been to Circle a couple of times" only to later realize that maaaybe I shouldn't had answered in that fashion.
However, Friday night at The Park was hilariously something else. Here are the top five lines (for better or for worse) I've heard that night.
1. "So what other interesting things do you do besides model?"
2. "I find Asian women to be submissive and lacking in emotion...what are my chances of you sleeping with me tonight?"
3. "Do you find me...disturbing?"
4. "How old are you? 16?! Whatever, it doesn't matter, I'm wiling to go to jail for this."
5. (In response to when I asked where his friend was) "He's shaving right now."
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| [Minor Disclaimer: This is directed towards girl circles at Asian clubs, as I don’t generally encounter this at mixed clubs. However, my assumptions are that it’d prove true there as well. Of course not every girl is the same and reacts differently so use at your own discretion]
Sure, some girls go to clubs just to dance but for those who aren’t, here’s how to break that girl circle and get her to dance with you using two easy methods.
First, to break the girl circle, you have to understand the circle.
The basic purpose of the circle is protection. Much like dogfights when you’re surrounded by enemies, be they pixelated nazi’s or mechas, allies fight back to back because you don’t have eyes in the back of your head.
It’s like that stance but reverse it for girl circles.
Let’s take the four girl circle placement.
Because Girl C can’t see behind her, Girl A watches out for her.
And the reverse works as well.
This also applies to what Girl B can’t see, D will be able to
So, what you put it all together, you have
and each girl is watching out not only for the girl opposite her, but has the ability to do a 180 within their perimeter.
Looks confusing? If the black circle represents guys, it all makes better sense doesn’t it?
So let’s take a look at it again. If Girl B sees a guy getting too close to Girl A, she’ll break the circle formation and pull Girl A closer to herself. This is a signal that girl D and C will pick up on as they will dance closer together as they close off their own circle. (Which is another reason not to disrupt girls dancing really close to each other, but more on that later.)
So, how do you break this circle and dance with a girl?
Method 1:
§ Simply ask her to dance.
Granted, this does not always work, and you might get turned down but there is about a 70-75% more chance she’ll say yes than no. Take this percentage and compare it against the 2% she’ll continue to dance with you if you come up behind and dance like you know her.
o Timing:
You don’t want to ask her when she first gets on the dance floor, as there about a 90%+ she’ll say no, but at the same time, you don’t want to wait too long and another guy is already dancing with her.
I’d say somewhere between the 3rd song, and the 5th song that is playing since she is ACTIVELY dancing (not just swaying there because her friends pulled her along) is a good chance to ask her.
If you ask her, and she does says no, kindly move on to another part of the club.
Girls are very observant on the dance floor. If you don’t move, she’ll remember you, (or if not her, her friends will as they already noticed you when you came up to her) and you’ll be labeled as the “kinda creepy guy whose still there.” You get this treatment even if you don’t ask her to dance again. Sorry guys, life sucks.
With that being said, there are certain songs that you won’t have to ask and she’ll automatically dance with you. What songs are those? Well, if I told you everything what’s there to wonder and try about? (Actually, it’s because I can’t remember what they are on the top of my head but when I remember I’ll put them in here.)
Next Up: Part 2 of how to break a girl circle at clubs.
(But, girls the with ability to shoot out color lasers? = how OSM and pro my ms paint skills are)
Random things to ponder: If you’re in the shower and when someone flushes, it completely changes the temperature of your shower water. Does the reverse prove true if someone is using the bidet and you suddenly turn on the shower? | | |
| When I was younger my mom always wanted my sister and I to be like the sisters on Full House. Really Mom? A meth addict AND the inability to finish college? I'm so excited!
But throughout the years, my sister has constantly one up-ed me.
From when she constantly beat me at checkers despite numerous do overs,
 The sadness!
imaginary games where she made me stand at the back of the line despite there not being anyone else there, to her coming home this morning from her flight, successfully creating a ruckus and stirring me awake after I had came home early at 3AM after a night of non debauchery.
She was even able to create a better excel template for my dad's company mere minutes after touching ground too.
 Oh the comparison burn! And including this morning afternoon when she kicked me awake like a dog and subsequently told me, "Did you get skinner? You look like the wall!" Oh my sista. 
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| Too bad selling your friends isn’t an option. If it were, I’d be all over that like white on rice.
They’re all great people (well, the ones I intend to sell at any rate), but for some reason or another, they just can’t seem to find that other great person in life.
Maybe it’s because they can’t seem to move on, or they just keep meeting the wrong people, or they’re so jaded that they’ve stopped trying and selling them seems like the (well not like it’s the only option, but more like it’s the hilariously fun option) to show them that, that person IS out there…somewhere.
If I were to sell my friends, I’d think start off with this particular set.
E: Barely used bisexual (read:lesbianlesbianlesbian) up for sale. Speaks cute Japanese and comes in pocket size variety. Caution: As explode-able as a hand grenade.
J: Never been used, Masters in History. Might have been a member of Black Panther in previous lifetime. Opinionated but currently only taking applications in dark chocolate.
A: In good condition, dexterous tree climber. Is able to fight off ninjas with one hand and recite bible verses at the same time. Future plans include marrying and having 8 kids to train into a crime fighting regime.
If they came back alive, I think I’d put myself up on the pedestal to see what the going rate was.
But wait, selling means never seeing them again. Maybe I’ll just rent them out. Whadda say? Any takers? | | |
| Don’t get me wrong, I love my kinsmen. Asian guys are smart , funny, compassionate, creative and all sorts of other wonderful adjectives. (And these are just the some of the guys who don’t lock their xanga when I’m too lazy to sign in, can you imagine the guys that are floating out here in xanga-land much less the ones that exist outside the computer screen?!)
But if I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it in fast rising double digits numbers. My guy friends do it; I’ve had it done to me, and honestly? Asian guys lose Asian girls all the time. Of course, this doesn’t happen every Asian guy, but I’ve seen it often enough that I decided to write this.
Yes, sometimes my brothers lose their women to non-Asian guys, but they also often lose them due to one of two reasons.
1: They lack initiative. Whether it’s something like they never told the girl that they liked her or never making that final step and kissing a girl, Asian guys lack initiative when it comes to the fairer sex.
Let’s take the first instance.
Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen if you tell a girl you like her?
You get rejected? Yeah, that sucks, but if you tell her you like her, no girl is going to say, “Seriously? Ew, No.” (And if she does say something like that, she’s a bitch you don’t want to be liking bitches anyway.)
If she’s not interested, she’ll probably say something along the lines of, “Thank you, I’m really flattered, but I’m not interested / but I have a boyfriend.” Yeah, you can mope around after hearing that, but do you know what happens?
She’ll keep you mind when she’s talking to her SINGLE friends. “Hey, do you know Richard? He’s really nice, and you know…”
And score!
If you never tell her, not only does she never know, (and this is not like the she pretends to not know in a Lois-Brian kind of way) you’ll also end up getting FRIEND ZONED. And if that day ever occurs where you muster up your loins and tell her you like her, by then you’ve been SO completely friend zoned that, she’ll think, “Really? But I can’t think of him that way now, since he’s such a good friend.”
I’m not saying people who are friends can’t work their way towards a relationship, but rather, it’s a much longer and harder process which could have been avoided in the first place if you didn’t FRIEND ZONE yourself and just had confessed.
Most people have heard of the “Three Date Rule” wherein people have sex on the third date, and it works like that with Asians, except replace sex with kissing.
Let’s say you’re on a first date with her, and you don’t kiss her. That’s cool; it’s feels really awkward at the end of a date sometimes right? Understandable.
Okay, so the second date rolls around. You still don’t kiss her. That’s….alright. You must really respect her space right? Understandable.
You don’t kiss her by the third date? Dude, you have totally FRIEND ZONED. Or in more harsher words, as Yosho puts it, “Moral of the story: Kiss the girl before the 3rd date, otherwise you have a small penis. The End.” So, friend zoned or you have a small penis. A rather lose-lose situation if you ask me.
2: They don’t follow up
So, say you get the girls number, email or whatever device you have for contacting her that doesn’t involve you sitting outside her window. Does sitting outside her window sound romantic to you? Possibly, but it’s incredibly creepy to her.
For each day you do not contact her, call her, email her or tell her hi through semaphore, you drift further and further away from her radar.
Or for simpler readers,
And when she tells this story to her friends, you become that guy, the cool guy she met, gave her number to, but never called her.
Plus, at the end of it, some other guy will take that step you didn’t, and get her. (Hello White guy!)
People sometimes say, what time period is this? Can’t women take the initiative and do these things? Yes they can, and more power to those who do, but I’m of the mindset that if a guy really likes you, then he should work for it.
And FYI, just because you email her, and she replies, doesn’t mean she’s been sitting in front of her computer screen, and was constantly refreshing her itouch waiting for your email. She responds because it’s common courtesy. If my friend emailed me with a question, I email them back within 24 hours because it’s just common courtesy. I’m not saying she’s not pleased to see your email, but just because she replies does not mean necessarily mean OMG SHE WANTS YOU.
So there you have it, two basic reasons why Asian guys lose their women.
What do you think girls? Is there anything else you would add to the list?
But, if you do happen to know of any cute, smart, funny, and other wonderful adjective Asian guys who have got this figured out, do me a solid, and send them my way won’t you? ;D | | |
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